I don't like you Part 1

Hello. I help create donuts. I put icing on those hot bitches, I fill them with jelly/filling, I even arrange them to be fried into delicious bite size pieces while they're still dough babies. Unfortunately, my job is not so important or entirely time consuming that I get to hide away from the customers and cash register. Which I don't mind, usually. I enjoy running around with my head cut off needing to be in two places at once. Time flies and it's not boring. I DO however mind the customers.

"But Zee, those people make your boss money, in turn making you money"

Of course they do and the ones that are literate, can count, can pronounce words properly, aren't low talkers, and can process their own thoughts before speaking, I actually like.

If I know you are of the following variety of customer, I will probably make fun of you within earshot.

The wake and baker

:This breed of customer is either really old and tweeking or really young and higher than a kite. Now the tweekers get upset for waiting even though they're counting out $3 in pennies for 6 minutes then realize they have money in their crotch or titty area. It's always moist.
The younger breed who chose the natural drugs take forever to order at 5 am. After sitting in the drive through since before I got there (4:45) And it gets better the last kids I took orders from went like this


kid: uh...um....::blank stare::

me: ::blank stare::

kid: you um uh..::blank stare::

me: No donuts, just kolaches right now. Wanna wait? 10 mins.

kid:: uh...no yeah kolache

me: what kind?

kid: ::blank stare::

Me: sausage and cheese? okay how many?

kid: one


Exactly 6 minutes had passed. I have other things to do. But wait there's more!
I left this guy counting his money since he was taking forever, come back after doing other stuff like making coffee and making sure I had enough time to do my icing in the back and he's still counting $1.20, but his mind overcomes the challenge somehow, and I hand him his stuff and his friend says he needs one too. Same exact process as above. It was almost exactly the same except 4 minutes this time. I know because I am staring at my phone wondering how the hell am I supposed to get donuts ready since no one else is here yet.
And yet it still gets better, I return with second kids kolache and then the drink request ensues. Same process and it is way too early for me to be so pissed off. After the second drink I have maybe two minutes before I have to go ice some donuts. But no, the donut request ensues with the dreaded question

kid: what kinda donuts you got


me: glazed (1 minute left)

kid: can I get like uh...um...::blank stare::

me: yeah

kid: what?

me: you said half dozen right? $3.30

kid: uh yeah


and that's how I had enough time to make donuts and sell. I hate you if you're high and buy donuts from me and I will persuade your order to get rid of you. I'm almost certain this is exactly what Jedi mind tricking someone feels like.