Out of spoons....

Hellooooo. I've been meaning to post all kinds of reviews but things have been getting pretty difficult lately pain wise. So unfortunately the reviews have taken a back seat to everything else. I've always wanted to write and the fact that I've gotten a lot (to me anyway) of views from places other than my friends(please continue reading because I do appreciate it :D) was really exciting to me. Especially because I'm not writing anything of significance or importance. I don't know when my next review will be posted, but when I get to it I'll make sure to do two of them.
Thanks again for reading, please continue to visit, and please comment so people believe me when I say I get readers  ^_^

Here's a little bit of info on me as well.

http://www.gofundme.com/di1itc

Some TMI and the Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay Review

Ok, its been a while. I've been busy with the whole endometriosis/ chronic pain thing,  but this post isn't about that...er ok it kind of is. This post is inspired by my acne prone and troubled skin. While I've been away from the blog I mentioned my endometriosis and adenomyosis, I spent a little over a year on all kinds of birth control pills in an attempt to treat some of the symptoms. Not only did they not do diddly for the symptoms, I ended up going through eight or nine different pills, gained 30lbs, and my acne was beyond out of control.  This was the deep cystic hormonal beasts that prompted many horrendous comments from people and dramatic feelings of being too ugly for my cats to love me. Now before all this went down,  my skin still was far from blemish free, but I at least had it, for the most part, under control;  except for blackheads and the monthly breakout.
You're probably thinking after I quit the pills my acne went away the same way it came, but unfortunately, no. It stopped popping up new horrors, but I was left with a face full of blemishes that took time to get rid of. (I did lose the rest of the weight after surgery though, so there's that)
Now, the acne is pretty minimal, but I'm left with a ton of scarring and dark spots.
So I've tried a lot of different face things and decided why not blog them?

...So here goes....

This is the "Aztec Secret Indian Healing Clay" This stuff has a cult following it seems and for a good reason. I first looked this up on Amazon,  because I love Amazon,  and the rating+amount of reviews,  along with the price is what prompted me to try this.  But if you're going to slather something on your face,
I encourage you to do your own research.
 I found the majority of negative reviews were from lazy people.  You do have to mix this stuff to turn it into mud. And if you don't have patience or brain cells for that, taking it off will be just as difficult.  I'll get to that.
First,  lets talk money.


Price: This stuff is cheap as ...dirt? Amazon has it for under $8 and I bought mine from Vitamin Shoppe for a little less.  There is a ton of product for the price; the container could realistically last at least six months.
This clay can be mixed with either water, or Apple cider vinegar.  But buying the vinegar is equally inexpensive.  I use "Braggs" brand and got a large bottle for under $5. I'd have a picture but I gave it away. :c
The vinegar gets fizzy when combined with the product and mixes easier than with water.

Mixing: There's directions on the package,(says to mix equal parts)  but after following them I realized im better off just mixing it until I get the consistency I want.
A tiny bit of this will cover your whole face. I use a glass container, because of the apple cider vinegar,  and a little scoop I saved from Oxyclean. I use that to measure and my finger to mix it. I use only a little bit at a time, but for a large batch I recommend you do use a spoon.
I use a small amount of mud and twice as mucb apple cider vinegar or until I get a very creamy consistency.
The directions also say to put it on 1/4 of an inch thick on your face, but it's too thick to dry,  so again,  just put it on however thick you like.
Mixing it can be messy for some people, so if you're messy and cleaning up after each mask sucks too much, you can mix a large batch, and put it in the refrigerator.  But if you absolutely refuse to clean at all, because you're an adult and only own paper plates, you can mix it all in a giant zip lock bag, use it and refrigerate it until it runs out and just toss the bag in the trash.
Im not judging because Im lazy too. :p

Your face: the package says the mask "pulsates" and really the mask gets so stiff it feels like your face circulation has ceased,  so yes, that does create a sensation some may call "pulsating". I like it though because it makes me feel like it's working.

 Oh and don't expect to make any facial expressions.  It's what I imagine botox face is like.

Some reviews I've read say that the mask comes off in chunks and clogs your drain and a lot of elaborate,  "I wash my face outside with the garden hose" solutions,  but again, I think it's lazy people that try to take the mask off as quickly as possible that have a drain clogging problem. I will say it's easier to wash it off in the shower just because I have more room. The big secret to getting this stuff off your face is to just be patient and take it off in gentle circular motions, much like you would when you"re putting on face wash. It really doesn't take long at all.

Results: Your face will be red from all lack of circulation action that just went down.  It goes away in about 30 minutes.  This dries out big blemishes,  brings the ones that stay under the skin to the surface,  and removes blackheads or at least brings them up enough to safely squeeze out. I actually used this for two weeks, first every day, then every other day just to get my gross birth control blemishes under control.  This stuff does make things come out,  but thats good, because afterwards is clear skin.
After the two weeks just mentioned,  I used the mask 3x a week. This stuff was getting out blackheads that have been there for ...years. Gross I know. But it was very exciting and now they're gone ^_^
Be sure to cleanse your face first and use a moisturizer after. That is a must, this stuff will dry out your face. 

Cons: The only real downside is that the more my skin cleared up, the less noticeable the results were.  It's easy to see the effects on a face full of trouble, but when you're just using this mask for maintenance,  it's really easy to question weather it is still an amazing product.
Another possible con could be that the apple cider vinegar doesn't smell great, even though I kind of like it, the smell could be off putting to others. And of course the mess factor could deter some as well.

I encourage you to read other reviews,  pinterest, whatever,  but overall this product is definitely one of my favorites and if you try it, I hope you like it as much as I do :D

Naive Aloe Facial Cleansing Foam by Kracie

Today I'll be reviewing this Japanese face wash.

The only English words say "naive" "facial cleansing foam" and "Kacie" so again, I relied on my bff Amazon to tell me what's up.

Amazons description include:

• Aloe is well known for its healing and moisture properties.
• Squalane heightens moisturizing.

 I pretty much saw this at my local (ok, Dallas) Asian "mall" looked it up on and saw the star rating and bought it for $6.99..maybe $7.99.  They had several others same brand and bottle but with different pictures of what I'm assuming to be the main ingredient.  I recognized this as aloe and bought it because aloe is supposed to be bomb for your skin anyway.  Educated guessing.  

I will go ahead and say any face wash used is used after I remove make up with wipes. I don't rely on face wash to remove my make up and cleanse my skin because I personally don't think that's realistic.  So I'm only reviewing how it cleanses skin itself.

Now, Wet yo' face ^_^

Could use about half of what's in the photo but I wanted you to see the texture. It's very creamy, almost like lotion, but kind of sticky at the same time. Also, by using half of what's in the photo, this stuff managed to last me almost 3 months.  

 It foams up very nicely with a little water, the amount of water that's probably already on your face is enough, but without water it is kind of thick and paste like, and definitely more difficult to dispurse.   
The way it foams up is more like a shave cream/gel,  the lady kind for legs, not the man kind for face. Definitely not the foam consistency of hand wash either.

The smell is very strong, doesnt exactly smell like aloe, but it does smell very much like leafy green things, and almost sweet. It's  not unpleasant at all though, and the smell does goe away after washing it off.

Immediately after drying, my face is extremely soft, like I've never had a face wash leave it so soft before. It was very different,  for me anyway. On top of that, my face did have a "glow" to it, which freaked me out a little at first, but still very cool. As someone with combination skin, I can say I was not a oil slick by the end of the day so this does also control oil without over drying the rest of your skin. 

The cons: this does a great job cleansing skin, and keeps most blemishes away, however if you do get one, it doesn't do much to get rid of it quickly. Your big ol' zit just has to run its course, or use a spot treatment.  If you do pick at said zit, (which you shouldn't, but hey, it happens!) It does seem to heal a little quicker.
The nice "glow" doesn't last very long and after using it 2x a day every day it's almost unnoticeable.  Take a break for a few days And you'll notice it again though.
Overall, I would buy this again.  If you're feeling like trying something different, this seems like a good safe spot to start.

I'm a bit slow with updating the blog but I'll be posting two next time when I get the chance. 

One mask and a lemon "sleeping pack"

Till next time c: 

Incomplete and Defeated

There are a lot of unfinished projects I've started. A hard copy journal/mini scrap book, a tumbler to move my blog to, all the chores in my tiny apartment. Nothing is really getting done. Every minute I don't have to work is a minute I usually spend on my sofa.
Surgery is next week and the nerves are really starting to kick in. I feel as though nothing at home is prepared, my list of after surgery things I think I'll need isn't done, but then again "fat pants" are on the list so how important can the rest be? Everything is difficult and everything sucks and I feel like I might have messed up any chances I had to get ahead at work by becoming increasingly sick over the last few months.

Even writing this post is exhausting.

A defining Moment

My defining moment is an unfortunate one. This endo shit got real and I feel as though my life is falling apart around me. I hope that my surgery in September lets me be how I used to be. Everything is exhausting. It's funny, I thought the only thing wrong was my lady bits, but I can't even think straight anymore. I'm preparing for surgery by looking at other blogs, pinterest, and my Facebook support groups.
Work is increasingly difficult, relationships except a few are close to nonexistent or strained, and I think I'm loosing it.

I am going to have this disease for the rest of my life, and I'm not sure I've come to accept this yet.

Kitty meow meow

I wrote this a long time ago on Facebook and this gem went unnoticed. Here goes again with slight revision. Which means I just fixed the typos and spacing.

feeling so trapped
the pressure is physically disabling
... and I swear my chest is caving in

It's so hard to see,
my head is aching from the impact

this is supposed to be love
...you made me believe this was love.

I can't even move.

Some nights I cant sleep and I'm left awake with my thoughts

How could eyes as blue as the sky, as deep as the ocean, make me feel hated
...yet loved
...inadequate
...yet desperately needed

these things always run through my head when all the cats are on me and I cant breath or move because Neko is crushing my stomach and pinning my legs and choco is on my chest kneeding my face and giving me head knucks to the point I might have a concussion and Graybie is just walking all over me to find a comfortable spot.

I love these assholes.

Choco (my favorite)

Neko (the husbands cat)

Gray+baby= Graybie (the new one)

All of them!

Game Ovaries- This is my Endo begining.

When you google "endometriosis" you get the same medical definition:

"Endometriosis is a female health disorder that occurs when cells from the lining of the womb (uterus) grow in other areas of the body. This can lead to pain, irregular bleeding, and problems getting pregnant (infertility)."

More or less. It doesn't sound too serious when put that way, but I've been to the doctor way too many times over this, tried over nine different birth control pills over this, and it's pretty serious biz when you're in pain almost every single day. Yup, something is wrong. June of last year was when all of this started, and if i didn't write things down, I don't think I would be able to rememeber what I felt like when I was "normal"

To me, none of that matters so much now. I could have paid for a lap out of pocket to see if it is for sure endometriosis or not and if it is, how bad the damage is, so to speak. I chose not to because if I did, that would go down as a preexisting condition for insurance and then I would definitely be up a creek without a paddle. So instead I've been busting my ass working, I have my insurance now, and I've found a specialist and broke up with my old doctor. I would have broken up with the old doctor anyway, so don't feel bad for him.

Monday is the first day I'll be seeing a specialist, and to me it really feels like this is going to determine if the life I knew a year ago will ever be attainable again, or if it'll just be a memory. I do hope I can write more consistently, and I do hope those that read this will stick around for my mix of posts. Some things will be serious and some things, not so much.

Here's a Japanese screen shot of them explaining endo. It's super kawaii, like everything else they do.

DNA follow up

So after doing this based on my identity crisis from an older post, this is the result of what I'm made of. This was done out of Ancestry.com, AncestryDNA. I really thought that after this test my sisters and I would just know a little bit of what we are. Instead I've received DNA matches to potential cousins. Now the DNA says its 98% chance we're related. So now it's up to us to figure out how. Stories are surfacing, and new information is being discovered through digging around in my parents stuff. Well, okay, sister #1 is doing and is in charge of the research. I actually proved to be very bad at it and as I'm typing this now, I should be calling her.
Sorry :[

My health is questionable at this point, and two jobs is very time consuming. Hopefully I can contribute a little bit more to research. This is all very exciting and I think the more we uncover the past, the more we find out about a culture we had no idea we had. It's a journey I would like to document, along with my shitty health journey. I feel like I might not have the energy for both.

Sick sick sick

Week 3 of being sick and the husband that doesn't believe in going to the doctor unless you're gushing blood or have a broken bone decided I must go. Apparently 3 week illness isn't normal. Not even for me.
I could write a whole blog on over the counter medicine but it would more or less be a million pictures and one caption.
"Doesn't work for people who get sick ALL THE TIME "
I get my immune system is the worst. Even as a kid I remember being sick a lot, but kids usually do catch everything and weird hybrids of sickness probably undiscovered and unclassified by science.  As an adult you're either unhealthy or a hypochondriac.  I am neither and treated as both. I know people mean well with their tips but seriously, staaaahhhhp.
Earlier this year I went to  the doctor for strep throat, it went a little something like this:

"What are we seeing you for today? "

"I think I have strep throat. "

"Oh. Well we'll see about that."

5 questions and one strep test later.

"Well, you tested positive for strep. "

Story of my life.
Today's diagnosis is a mad sinus infection with a side of bronchitis.  I think my new  doctor gets it.

Indentity crisis, Yo.

Okay so maybe working at the donut shop has given me things I never really thought about before. As far as I was concerned I:
A) hate checking off anything that says "Latino /Hispanic (not white )" and usually refuse to.
B) I have always  Identified myself not by the last name Martinez, but by my first name.
I am Zadie,  it was supposed to be Sadie. My parents didn't tell me til I was, like 12. I accepted this as the stage that set the majority of the mishaps that comprise my life.
Now,  being Mexican,  I thought meant being Catholic and having a quincenera (sp?)  and celebrating other holidays,  And being super fluent in Spanish. 
Well growing up a Jehovah's witness, you don't get holidays. Holidays make up a good portion of culture.  So That's out. Growing up in southern Indiana wasnt exactly the hub of diversity so needless to say there were multiple times I was asked "how do you say taco?" by my classmates. And no,  they didn't believe my answer. 
"Taco."
It was important we knew English and as long as when mom is pissed and speaking to us in Spanish is completely understood, That's all that mattered.  So now, my spoken Spanish sucks.

That's a beautiful childhood story, I know. We fast forward to now and all my presumably Mexican customers hate me. Women mostly, one imparticular talks quickly and orders things I have to make special, I swear It's to throw me off.  Her name is "Dulce " and I can't get over the contradiction of her bitchiness and her name. Old men dont like me either and the older kids kind of laugh at my spanish and switch to English.
The nicest are men with little girls between 4-13. I dont know if that means anything. 
Now if all these people are pleased to the max when the white man learns one word in Spanish, yet I learn a new word every day and remember how they take their coffee or go out of my way to make them something and still acceptance level stays at zero.
I Dont want to be accepted by a large group of people that have rejected me.  I guess I'd just like to know why.
I remember moving to Texas for the first time as a kid and other students trying to decide if I was Mexican or not. Then talking amongst themselves to see who would ask me what question in Spanish to see if I answered. This was the cherry on top of being an ugly, awkward kid.
Am I a bad person for being happy most of these people already have a litter of children?
Nah.
So aside from childhood trauma (ha!)
My looks aren't an obvious que to who I am. If there are pale skinned, brown/blond haired, big boobied actresses on Univison, freaking Premier Impacto station, then who is my short, dark and plump regular customer to ask me where I'm from?
"Indiana."

"No. What about your mom "

"Mexico "

"What part?"

"Monterrey "

"No...your dad? "

"Texas"

"No..."

The fuck?  Who made these people the damn "policia" on who's who? Get off my nutsack and go tend to your offspring. Trust me you and your daughter have enough kids to worry about, without questioning me about my lack of.
So now I'm obsessed with whats all up in my gene pool to make me and my siblings look the way we do. DNA testing isn't cheap so a lot of thought and research and a little soul searching is happening. And other than being irritated my whole life, its not that I particularly care any more about "being Mexican " than I did when I was a kid, I don't see anything has changed except the same type of kids that questioned me back then grew up to question me now, or I met their judgemental parents/cousins /aunts . 

I do care about finding out what makes a Zadie.
I'm sure it'll be much better than the story of how my drugged up mom wrote an "s" backwards and thus a "Z" was born.

(Okay I was born first and then ^ that happened. Same difference, right? )

Gee gee gee

Once upon a time, I used to want to build things with my bare mitts.  With power tools. But upon realizing I have zero depth perception (thank you eyes. For. Nothing T__T) And my inability to draw, walk, or anything else in a straight line, the realization I'd forever be a less than handy woman,  set in.
I mean, I know how to change a tire and jump a car. In theory of course, not practice. And I hope if I have to do either, I'm not alone. I cringe to think I'll more than likely draw a blank under pressure and be teary eyed watching "How to " YouTube videos and texting for help.

Anyway...
Me attempting to fix anything with tools usually ends in me breaking and /or hurting myself.  My pride is usually in worse shape because I'm surrounded by what I made worse and wait for my Knight in shining armor to fix it. Always fixing it faster than I can blink and making everything look so simple I have no choice but to question my intelligence and basic motor skills. Ultimately I  take no responsibility and blame everyone else so I can sleep at night without thinking "Oh Gawd,  I'm Peter Griffin level re-tah-ded "

Under direct supervision I'm allowed to play with the power tools.

Not so good at anything.

Whenever  anyone has ever asked me what im good at, I have never come up with a solid, definitive answer. All in all,  I think I'm only good at contracting contagious diseases from grubby children, and inconsiderate and equally grubby adults.
"Well what do you like to do?"
*Binge eat and binge watch Korean dramas or full seasons of shows I never got to watch when they were popular
*Give my cats some gato crack.
*Online window shop
*Google random questions -
ex. "How do you.. "  and then get sidetracked looking up whats suggested.
  That answer, as true as it may be, doesn't really make me feel great.
Reality sets in, especially in group conversation,  which should be a special skill and talent on its own. This socially awkward penguin thinks it should be worth at least a trophy, or trinket to be fully socially functional without scaring anyone away or giving off second hand embarrassment.

A n y w a y...

  I'm a closet cry baby, I'm clumsy,  scatterbrained , usually asleep, and I tend to talk a big game when I'm pissed off only to end it with "Yeah I probably won't do any of that. "

So, here is to all the things I've tried and failed at, but will continue to pursue. We do things that interest us, and make us happy, not necessarily because we are good at them.

And because some people,  might be going through their 20-something panic years and this is my way of avoiding a pre midlife crisis. 

Nice balls, are they new?

Do people just go around hating life?  Look, my deepest empathy goes out to you;  I'm sure it isn't easy having three baby mamas, or that your daughter got a classy neck tattoo to go along with her teen mom image, or whatever you're pissed off about.  Tell me, Why is the guy that needed a new kidney happier and nicer than you?  Yeah I don't know either,  and in case you're wondering,  no he's not dead,  Yes he got a new kidney. 
I like to laugh.  I have enough problems without having to dwell on them and let them ruin my day. All day, every day.
F o r e v e r! 
Plus mean people age terribly and Im not even about to have adult acne AND wrinkles. Then I would absolutely hate life and try to suffocate in a bag of chips. 

Back to Basics

There's a few things I've been working on in between being at work and being asleep. Advice from a friend was to write every day. Probably best simplest advice I've been given about something I've always had a passion for. I feel as though some posts should and will be kept private due to subject matter I'm not ready to share with everyone. But I will at least write something. Every day.
That aside, writing in general has always been something I want to do. I may not be incredibly clever, or profound, or have the vast knowledge of any particular subject, or confidence of a Greek god of blogging...was this a pep talk?
I'm quite rusty to boot. I have to favorite my favorite words on my dictionary app because not only do I not get a chance to use my former extended vocabulary, but these days I can't remember much. Some days, I'm surprised I remember how to use the microwave. And shoes.
I'm more or less confident that the (at least) four people I know are mildly enthused to read my contingent occurrences, so at least clicky click some kudos for me or write a comment/criticism here. It would be super encouraging.

Here's a bonus cat picture :D

I don't like you Part 2

Illiteracy is a big issue with me, considering I can't spell very well, I understand it's kind of hypocritical. I can admit that. Now, as much as people complain they can't understand my English speaking challenged co-workers, I must say the complainers aren't very good at speaking the ONLY language they know. I get second hand embarrassment all the time when I repeat an order only to be corrected.

Me: okay, donut hole(s) and a cinnamon roll?

trailer trash tina: NO donut hoe and cinnamon ROW!

Please go put shoes on your baby and start watching those nick jr. shows. You might just learn all the letters of the alphabet, there's lots of bright colors, songs, and puzzles, you'll have so much fun you won't even realize some of your brain synapses are awakening. Plus, if it scares you too much, you can always kill them with Mountain Dew.

I can't stress how much I get corrected on the two words "roll" and "hole(s)" the "s" is always optional.

I don't like you Part 1

Hello. I help create donuts. I put icing on those hot bitches, I fill them with jelly/filling, I even arrange them to be fried into delicious bite size pieces while they're still dough babies. Unfortunately, my job is not so important or entirely time consuming that I get to hide away from the customers and cash register. Which I don't mind, usually. I enjoy running around with my head cut off needing to be in two places at once. Time flies and it's not boring. I DO however mind the customers.

"But Zee, those people make your boss money, in turn making you money"

Of course they do and the ones that are literate, can count, can pronounce words properly, aren't low talkers, and can process their own thoughts before speaking, I actually like.

If I know you are of the following variety of customer, I will probably make fun of you within earshot.

The wake and baker

:This breed of customer is either really old and tweeking or really young and higher than a kite. Now the tweekers get upset for waiting even though they're counting out $3 in pennies for 6 minutes then realize they have money in their crotch or titty area. It's always moist.
The younger breed who chose the natural drugs take forever to order at 5 am. After sitting in the drive through since before I got there (4:45) And it gets better the last kids I took orders from went like this


kid: uh...um....::blank stare::

me: ::blank stare::

kid: you um uh..::blank stare::

me: No donuts, just kolaches right now. Wanna wait? 10 mins.

kid:: uh...no yeah kolache

me: what kind?

kid: ::blank stare::

Me: sausage and cheese? okay how many?

kid: one


Exactly 6 minutes had passed. I have other things to do. But wait there's more!
I left this guy counting his money since he was taking forever, come back after doing other stuff like making coffee and making sure I had enough time to do my icing in the back and he's still counting $1.20, but his mind overcomes the challenge somehow, and I hand him his stuff and his friend says he needs one too. Same exact process as above. It was almost exactly the same except 4 minutes this time. I know because I am staring at my phone wondering how the hell am I supposed to get donuts ready since no one else is here yet.
And yet it still gets better, I return with second kids kolache and then the drink request ensues. Same process and it is way too early for me to be so pissed off. After the second drink I have maybe two minutes before I have to go ice some donuts. But no, the donut request ensues with the dreaded question

kid: what kinda donuts you got


me: glazed (1 minute left)

kid: can I get like uh...um...::blank stare::

me: yeah

kid: what?

me: you said half dozen right? $3.30

kid: uh yeah


and that's how I had enough time to make donuts and sell. I hate you if you're high and buy donuts from me and I will persuade your order to get rid of you. I'm almost certain this is exactly what Jedi mind tricking someone feels like.

Being Poor.

Being bored and being poor are two dangerous things that should never be combined by a young person in their 20's. Being bored means starting to watch cat videos on YouTube and ending at white people singing to Korean boy bands. That aside, I would like some extra cash and I have devised two semi-solid plans.

Plan 1: Whore out my male neighbors/friends and split the profit.
Pros: Sex=easy money
Cons: Women don't usually buy sex from males that don't look like Photoshopped models. And the ones that would are probably so old they'd break a hip, thus ending up in a lawsuit. I can't afford a lawyer and I definitely cannot afford to be some manlike females bitch. Also, finding a demographic on Craigslist could end up in someone being killed and having their body parts put on the black market. I can't be held responsible for such things.

Plan 2: Write a trashy slutty romance novel. Given my mediocre literary talent and my ability to use grade school punctuation, I feel this is the best bet. I am currently in the process of compiling a team of "experts" to help me write things that would otherwise make me laugh or contract second hand embarrassment.
And by experts, I mean creative people(my sister, who can apparently find 10 synonyms for penis) and dirty male perverts(my friends/neighbors)because they're...dirty male perverts.

I'm afraid to do research on this endeavor without putting my Google safe search on and even then I'm afraid of what could come up. But I have braved enough to know where to get started, but I wonder if in a week I'll be writing something that would bring embarrassment and dishonor to my family, ya know, like Mulan. Or if I'll be on another scheme to find a way to get some legs, like Ariel.

But instead of legs I meant money.

...soup.

Fucking soup.
Now, you may have your opinions or beliefs that soup is a legit food, but to some people,(and by some people, I mean myself) it's a poor excuse for a meal. Literally, soup is only okay when you're poor, can't eat solid real food, or are sick. Soup is just flavored water with various viscosity (wrong word usage? Suck it.) Soup leaves me hungry, usually tastes bad hot/warm/cold and makes me completely pissed off there's no real food involved and I will more than likely have to make a meal of bread.

sidenote:stew and pho are legit forms of food that happen to have soup/broth in them, not the crappy un-fulfilling asshole of a food with tiny rice or tiny baby noodle and a shit ton of flavored water. Did I mention chunks of meat?
Nothing makes soup a real food like various chunks of meat

Excuse me, you dumb Broad..

I'm glad you didn't stay in the kitchen today. Hearing you verbally abuse and smack your kid in the fitting room next to me at The Gap was hilarious. You're right, he shouldn't get anything from walmart and I'm glad you're dropping him off at the sitters so YOU can go swim without him. They'll teach him to not be impatient from looking after your other kid while in the same room as you getting naked and trying on clothes you probably can't afford to buy.
Yes, half the store could hear you and old people were laughing about it.
Seriously, if you can't raise kids, don't have more than one. Based on your inability to even carry a puzzle or treats or something for a (possible) 7 year old watching your (looked about) 5 year old I am also certain that you're probably too dumb to make me a decent sammich. Even if it looked okay, I wouldn't eat a sammich outta your kitchen because it probably tastes like neglect, paternity tests, and Miracle Whip.

It sounds dirty, but I didn't mean it to.

You know what else is pretty dirty? The lady, no no..a dumb broad that leaves her keys in the only available bathroom stall. That's not so bad actually, unless you know she's a grown woman and can't flush a toilet. So upon returning her keys and already flushing the toilet she says "OH..thank you, I'm sorry I didn't flush. It wasn't workin' right. How'd you flush it? It really wasn't working."
No Broad, youre stupid and you're only sorry a stranger judged you and knows you're lazy.
I bet you peed on your hands while you were in there too. Why else would you be using so much soap if you couldn't even use a hand or foot to flush.
Please tell me you don't go anywhere NEAR a kitchen.

New Addiction?

So maybe making fun of people is wrong, but when there are so many glorious websites dedicated to it, it just makes you realize you're not a douche bag just making fun of the XL girl taking the last small shirt(because it stretches) at Forever 21, you're laughing at people with horrible tattoos or bad engrish (especially when they're white), Or bubbas and bubbetts fixing things with bondo and duct tape.
Plus when i feel bad for hoping those ^ people don't procreate I just watch cat videos.
Winning all over the place.


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